


Something different, maybe?

by Kay_fiction



Series: A Heartbeat Between Life and Death [5]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Again, Gen, faaaamily, family though, heartsam, if you squint a little - Freeform, passive suicidal thoughts, sam/heartman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22921429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_fiction/pseuds/Kay_fiction
Summary: Even if his visits aren't to that particularly haunting Beach, Heartman struggles some days. He's growing apart from the others back at Capitol Knot City, and his thoughts stray toward that illusive someday that he'll just be gone, for good.But his friends have another idea.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges & Heartman
Series: A Heartbeat Between Life and Death [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647367
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Something different, maybe?

When the days seemed darkest, Heartman couldn’t find anything to keep his mind distracted. No new research to review, no word from anyone on the outside. He hadn’t heard from Sam lately, which he attributed to him working hard on his deliveries. Sometimes, Sam need to brood, and doing orders for the preppers helped.

But the days dragged on, 21 minutes awake, 3 on a Beach with no other soul in sight. Not even a whisper. After the Last Stranding was averted, things on the Beaches seemed to just… the only word that came to him was ‘die’.

Was it worth it, was the possibility of finding his family possible, now that the Entity that connected all of the Beaches was disconnected from them all? Sometimes he suspected that he was stuck on the same Beach, his own Beach. If he was seeing different Beaches, they were much the same, the uniqueness he found before just wasn’t there anymore.

Despair came on him when he considered the idea that he was no longer able to visit different Beaches, that his Beach was desolate and empty of the family he desperately wanted to find. Always the same, alone, long silences. Those three minutes, lasting an eternity.

He came to resent it. Torn between giving up on life entirely, slipping away from contact with the others until one day…. Turn off the machinery, unhook, let the cardiac arrest take him. Forever.

Stubbornly, however, there was always a small spark keeping him just far enough from the edge. The fragile bonds he’d formed with some of the others. Lockne still tried to check in on him. Fragile also, she seemed fond of him. Sam. And little Lou.

Like a family. When Lou was here, and Sam or Fragile when not working, Heartman felt alive again. But when they weren’t here.

He missed them. Nearly as much as he missed his family. But unlike his wife and daughter, he could call Sam, Lockne, Fragile… If he wanted to see little Lou, he’d call Deadman, because he was always available to show her to him. And all this because of Sam’s journey across America to reunite the people, even if they were all misled as to why.

Sam. He missed Sam the most when his depression closed in on him. And Lou, because she was happiness given life, and intelligent beyond believe. Like a second chance at being a father, even if he was secondary to Sam. Seeing her and showing her new things gave him so much joy. And the life she’d breathed into Sam, also, was just as much a reason to be grateful for the little baby. Even if Sam battled an entire life’s worth of social interaction issues, Lou was teaching him how to break free of it, just by being there and needing his care.

An email pinged on his cuff, dragging him out of the dissociative state he slipped into.

**From:** _Lockne_

**Subject:** _Something different, maybe?_

_Heartman, I think this is an intervention. We’re all worried about you, and you’ve been hiding from us._ 😞

_You’ll probably try and hide it more, but if you do, Fragile will come find you, and you’ll have a hard time getting away from her on a mission._

_Now, what we plan to do, you’ll get to find out from someone else, not me._ 😏

_But please, please, please, Heartman. If you need it spelled out for you, WE think of you as family, too. We CARE about you, so stop hiding._

_Love from us all,_

_Lockne & the gang_

🥰💙❤️💚💜😝

_PS: If you need proof._

**[Attachment: thegang.jpg]**

The picture was of Deadman holding Lou, with Fragile one one side and Lockne on the other, and a piece of paper held between them with Heartman’s name and hearts drawn on it, and in small letters beneath ‘family’. Sam wasn’t there, but he didn’t take that as a bad sign, he was probably away.

Heartman stared at it for long moments, and wept quietly. He reached out to the photo on his table, of his wife and daughter, and traced their faces.

Family. He had a family here. Wasn’t that enough?

**Cardiac arrest in two minutes.**

Another email pinged in. From Sam.

It was just a picture. Sam in the snow, resting under a timefall shelter, hat and sunglasses on, but he was looking over the opaque lenses, and holding up the dorkiest peace sign. That produced a tearful laugh and a smile.

Family.

**30 seconds.**

He opened his chiralgraphic camera, and took a picture of himself, tearful and all, and a thumbs up. He sent it back to Lockne, and Sam, and added:

_I know I’ve been a bit stupid. Maybe I need an intervention. I’ll be waiting._

_-Heartman_

**5  
** **4**

Sent.

**3  
** **2  
** **1**

Flatline.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism is always appreciated.
> 
> Come find more stuff on my tumblr @ heartshapedstrand.tumblr.com


End file.
